Smarkass Reviews: Brock Lesnar: Here Comes the Pain

I can't remember exactly when I stopped watching wrestling. Sometime in 2000/2001, I think. Nothing specific made me stop, just a general feeling that it was the same old shit over and over again, and I wasn't going to waste my time with that. I never stopped liking wrestling, but I had no interest in it either, if that makes sense. I'd sometimes check it out and enjoy it only to forget about it the next day. I could enjoy watching it when I watched it, I didn't have the desire to watch it. I didn't get back into it until late 2007. So, there's a nice gap there where I missed out on a few things: Evolution, the rise of John Cena, the Invasion storyline, the Smackdown Six, and Brock Lesnar. I have a pretty strong fascination with these things that I missed out on and that led me to getting a copy of the only Brock Lesnar DVD the WWE put out: Here Comes the Pain. It's still a little insane to me that I could miss out on someone like Lesnar, but he was only in the WWE a short time. Everything else I missed, I still had some reference points from either before or after my period of not watching wrestling. I saw the Smackdown Six before they turned that show into a weekly wrestling clinic. I knew Triple H and Ric Flair, and came to know Randy Orton and Batista. I missed the rise of John Cena, but have watched him on top for over three years now. For Lesnar, there's nothing like that. He came and left when I wasn't watching. His matches haven't shown up on many of the DVDs I've purchased (besides this one and the WrestleManias I have, I think he only shows up on The Best of Smackdown (and not wrestling) and The History of the WWE Championship). He's pretty much a mystery to me beyond stories I've heard or things I've read.

This DVD was released at the same time as a VHS version that contained only the hour-long documentary feature. Thankfully, the DVD contains some matches. But, this also only covers up until its release in 2003, so it's not exactly a great overview. For my purposes, it did its job and gave me a good glimpse of the Next Big Thing. I watched the matches first since I knew Michelle would want to want the documentary feature and she wasn't able to until the evening.

Match #1: #1 Contender for the WWE Undisputed Championship Match - Brock Lesnar vs. "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan (Smackdown, 08.08.02)
Not so much a match as a slaughter and a way to make Brock Lesnar seem unstoppable. Put him up against one of the biggest icons in the business and just kill him. Not that Hogan didn't get some shots in, hitting some boots to the face and a leg drop that Lesnar got to kick out of, but any offence by Hogan was there for the purpose of Lesnar overcoming it and, then, killing Hogan. There was also the story of Lesnar hurting himself with his overconfidence, his playing to the crowd, and taking too much time to gloat. It's a theme that crops up a little bit in the other matches. Given that he's only debuted five months previously, he was still a newcomer and that overconfidence after such dominance made sense. The finish of the F5 and, then, the Brock Lock bear hug was the capper. He could have won with the F5 but wanted to utterly destroy Hogan. He even want back and nailed him with a chair after the match. Like I said, not a technical masterpiece, but it does the job of making Lesnar look like an unstoppable monster.
Winner: Brock Lesnar [**]

Match #2: WWE Undisputed Championship Match - The Rock (C) vs Brock Lesnar (SummerSlam, 08.24.02
I watched this match a few months ago on The History of the WWE Championship DVD set, but rewatched it here with Michelle since she hadn't seen it, and I thought it would be a good intro to Lesnar -- and she's been digging the Rock lately because of his involvement with the WWE, so that's an added bonus. Like her, I love the beginning with the Rock laying the belt down, doing a little jogging on the spot to mimic Lesnar in the ring, and then sprinting to kick the crap out of this young punk. Some good storytelling here with the involvement of Paul Heyman. Lesnar was the monster heel that doesn't need to cheat to win... but does anyway. I love the dominant heel, because that gets better heat than the regular chickenshit variety. There's satisfcation in seeing a chickenshit coward heel get his comeuppance, but that pales in comparison to a face finally besting a heel that is legitimately better than everyone else. You hate that sort of heel not just because he's a heel, but because he's right when he says he's the best and you can't deny it. Heyman helping Lesnar isn't necessary for Lesnar to win, it gets him over even more. Here, the Rock kept coming back from whatever Lesnar gave him, even controlling a big part of the match. He made sure that Lesnar didn't just steamroll over him, Lesnar earned the win here by kicking out of a Rock Bottom, delivering his own (B)Rock Bottom, and an F5 to put the Rock away. Lesnar looked decent here, but the Rock carried this a bit for me. His mannerisms and selling made Lesnar look so much better. This is how a first-time WWE Champion should look when he wins.
Winner and NEW WWE Undisputed Champion: Brock Lesnar [***1/2]

Match #3: Hell in a Cell Match for the WWE Championship - Brock Lesnar (C) vs. the Undertaker (No Mercy, 10.20.02)
There were some problems with this match like the on-and-off psychology surrounding the Undertaker's supposedly broken right hand. It came into play quite a bit, but was conveniently forgotten any time the Undertaker had to, you know, use his hands. Still, this match had a lot going for it and I couldn't help but get swept up in the spectacle and emotion of it. Lesnar getting nervous quickly about being trapped was a great touch to play on his inexperience and that panic a rookie might feel in the same situation, WWE Champion or not. Paul Heyman's involvement really helped here with his constant comments and shouting, the spot with the Undertaker ramming him into the cage by pulling his tie through an opening, and, then, him holding the belt that Lesnar tied around the Undertaker's hand while Lesnar hit it with a chair. Heyman added that extra flavour as a cheerleader. Between Lesnar and the Undertaker, they managed to craft a good match by playing into the psychology of the veteran/rookie confrontation. Any time Lesnar got the upperhand, he would make some stupid mistake like gloating too much and the Undertaker would take advantage. Still, Lesnar was quicker and stronger and wouldn't stay down. The blood was just... nasty. The Undertaker was gushing blood. I told Michelle she would have hated it since she's not a blood fan and seeing the Undertaker so covered is shocking. Honestly, this match is a good argument for the use of blood since it came at the right time (Lesnar split open early on but not too bad) to ramp the match up that extra bit. I'd never seen the Undertaker this bloody, this seemingly broken down, and that made Lesnar look that much better. He did that to the Undertaker and that's almost better than winning the match. Plenty of people have beat the Undertaker -- how many made him such a mess? How many left his face covered with blood? This match made Lesnar for me.
Winner and STILL WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar [****]

Match #4: WWE Championship Match - Kurt Angle (C) vs. Brock Lesnar (WrestleMania XIX, 03.30.03
This match suffers from the finish. That's fucking brutal to watch and killed any enthusiasm/enjoyment I had until then. Up until the finish, this was the strongest wrestling match on the DVD so far. Angle and Lesnar trading amateur wrestling holds at first until Lesnar couldn't quite keep up and went to a more power-based game, something Angle couldn't best him at. That put over both men: no one can touch Kurt Angle on the mat, but even Angle can't stop the monster than is Brock fucking Lesnar. Angle used every fucking hold he could think of and Lesnar always got out, and planted Angle on the mat. Very good story that showcased both men excellently. The finish with Lesnar hitting a second F5 and victory just a pinfall away only for him to attempt a Shooting Star Press with Angle 2/3s of the way across the ring is awful to watch. Lesnar doesn't even come close to making it after his legs buckle a little bit. It was a stupid thing to try with Angle so far away. I'm not sure what the finish was meant to be (probably him winning after hitting that) and the announcers tried to play it off as Angle rolling out of the way. Anyway, Lesnar wound up winning and looked so fucking out of it. He and Angle shaking hands to end the show was a nice moment, not one that could overcome the Next Big Thing falling flat on his face, though.
Winner and NEW WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar [****]

Match #5: Stretcher Match for the WWE Championship - Brock Lesnar (C) vs. the Big Show (Judgment Day, 05.18.03)
The first modern Stretcher Match apparently. I've only ever really liked one Stretcher Match and that was Batista/Shawn Michaels at Extreme Rules 2008. Chris Jericho's involvement helped make that match damned entertaining with Batista killing Michaels and Jericho not letting the Animal actually win until Michaels ate far more punishment. This one had the interesting story of the Big Show being too big for a stretcher. The spot with Lesnar using a lighting/tv cable to choke the Big Show out and, then, it preventing him from getting the Big Show across the line on the stretcher was good. The finish with the forklift was just ridiculous. Stupid and entertaining at the same time. This was more a fun/throwaway match than a good one.
Winner and STILL WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar [**1/2]

Match #6: WWE Championship Match - Brock Lesnar (C) vs. the Big Show (Smackdown, 06.12.03)
Included for the finishing spot of Lesnar Superplexing the Big Show off the top rope and the ring collapsing. That's pretty awesome to see no matter how many times you do. Everything before that was pretty average and forgettable.
Result: No contest [**]

The documentary provided some background on his life pre-WWE and, then, basically went into little rundowns of his big feuds/matches with some commentary from the likes of Paul Heyman, Michael Hayes, Kurt Angle, Big Show, Gerald Brisco, and others thrown in. It was kind of funny to watch since they kept shifting between discussing things in reality and kayfabe. It was a weird blending of the two. The matches they chose definitely complemented what we saw here, though I wish they'd given us the Lesnar/Cena match from Backlash. I would say that if I'd rated the matches above after watching this documentary stuff, I would have rated them all a little higher, that's how well they talked things up. Entertaining. What it really missed was Lesnar. After his pre-WWE time was covered, he didn't add anything, and that's a shame. I always like hearing what guys have to say about their matches.

We get, basically, the first year of Lesnar's career here and he shows a lot of skill and potential to be great. I don't know how much further he developed in his remaining time with the WWE, but he definitely could have progressed to be one of the greats. He had speed and strength, some solid mat-wrestling foundation, and a fantastic look. I hope the WWE eventually does a set that covers his entire career with them, because I'd like to see more of his work.

Pearl Jam!

Hi!

Well, I was just reading Chad's post and I figured that I had a bit of time to kill right now and what better way to spend it than to write a quick post on our blog (on which I have written so little!).

I am not one to purchase CDs in general. It's not that I download music either, it's just that I'm usually content to either listen to what music I already have or to just have the radio on (yes, among other things I am a top 40 kind of gal). For a long time now, I have enjoyed Pearl Jam and get really into their music whenever I hear it on the radio, but have never gotten around to buying any of their albums. We were at Best Buy the other day and I happened to see one for 9 bucks, so I bought it. After listening to it, I finally understood something that I could never truly comprehend before. I just simply wanted (and still want) to own every single Pearly Jam album in existence! Maybe I'm just weird, but I don't often get too excited about new things coming out by an author or artist or actor, etc. that I really like and I figure that at some point I may get it, but if I don't, I'm not going to be upset or probably think twice about it. But this Pearl Jam CD, Vs. (their second), I really just love it so much and it's not even just that the music itself is so good, but it reminds as to how much their other earlier music kicks ass and how much I want to listen to that, too. I don't know a lot of their music that hasn't been on the radio, but I'm excited to find out about it.

Would anyone have a suggestion on what they think is their best album/the one that I should pick up next?

The Charm: The Samoa Joe/CM Punk Trilogy

It's been a while. Sorry about that.

I recently purchased a couple of Ring of Honor DVDs. The first was last year's "Death Before Dishonor VIII," largely considered the best wrestling show of 2010. The other was the "Allied Forces" release. From what I can tell, that's a pretty typical (I haven't watched it yet) and not one that would jump out as worth buying if you haven't bought any ROH DVDs before. Except, it's got a bonus disc featuring the 2004 trilogy of matches that Samoa Joe and CM Punk had for the Ring of Honor World Title. I've heard about this trilogy since I got back into wrestling and the chance to have it all was very hard to pass up. It's my first real experience with ROH aside from a few matches I've seen online... but I'm a sucker for great wrestling trilogies.

Match #1: ROH World Title Match - Samoa Joe (C) vs. CM Punk ("World Title Classic" Dayton, OH 6/12/04)
I loved the early pacing of this match, the way that the two men would lock up, exchange some holds and strikes, and, then, break apart for a breather. The announce team talked a lot about Punk using a rope-a-dope style against Joe, taking a lot of punishment to wear the big man out, and it was clear that this was structured as a boxing match initially with the concept of rounds. It was an effective way to build the match. One thing I didn't like was, around halfway through, the announcers started talking about hour-long matches. Christ, talk about giving it away, gentlemen. I know we all know now that this was a one-hour broadway, but it really spoils the mood of the match. The way things progressed from round to Punk usually as the one taking the breather to Joe taking it to him on the outside was good. It felt organic; Joe recognised what Punk was doing and was having none of it. The second half of the match was start and stop, but in a different way: it became not so much rounds but fits of action followed by fits of exhaustion by both men. The effect was similar in pacing, not in impact and storytelling. It was like neither man had the energy to really finish the job after a certain point, hoping that each last-ditch strike would just knock the other guy down long enough to get the win. Punk hitting the Pepsi Plunge and falling out of the ring was a nice tease. I really loved the way they paced this.
Result: One-hour time-limit draw [****1/4]

Match #2: ROH World Title Match - Samoa Joe (C) vs. CM Punk ("Joe vs. Punk II" Chicago Ridge, IL 10/16/04)
This match built on the first one with Punk using headlocks again to wear down Joe, but not taking the 'rounds' or 'rope-a-dope' approach, instead using the same offence he did in the first match with a lot more aggression. He didn't try to wear down Joe by taking punishment and tiring Joe out, he tried to wear him down by just kicking the shit out of him and cutting the blood flow off to his brain as much as possible. Punk owned the first half of this match with Joe unable to make any comeback stick. Punk used his speed and brains to counter everything Joe tried and stuck to his aggressive offence. And that didn't work. Joe took it all and, oddly, Punk was the one who was worn down. He just went too hard against Joe, allowing Joe to take over. What hurt Joe was his overconfidence. It's like after taking all of that punishment, he assumed that Punk would not win, that victory was guaranteed, and delivered a lot of slow, cocky offence. It was an entirely different type of match with Joe almost becoming a heel with his lazy covers and hamming it up as he beat down on Punk. Since this was in Punk's hometown, Joe leaning into a heel role made a lot of sense and he pulled it off. From there, it became a more traditional wrestling match that echoed the last part of their first match, except with more desperation. Each man tried whatever he could to take the other out, seemingly afraid of another draw. When it happened, both men looked defeated. Punk because he couldn't capture the title, Joe because he couldn't retain the title by defeating his opponent -- to this point, Joe had been a dominant champion, ROH's greatest champion, and a draw may have meant he kept the belt, but it wasn't a win.
Result: One-hour time-limit draw [*****]

Match #3: ROH World Title Match - Samoa Joe (C) vs. CM Punk ("All Star Extravaganza II" Elizabeth, NJ 12/4/04)
This match was no time limit and Punk's final shot at the title. Again, this was as much about putting on a good match in and of itself as it was building on and responding to the previous matches. Punk went for the headlocks and Joe continually countered, leaving him a little stumped on what to do. So, he got in Joe's head with a fantastic bit surrounding chops to the chest where Punk delivered this weak little nothing of a chop and got in Joe's face, so, when Joe went for his chop, Punk ducked and was able to get the headlock on. Punk still wanted his regular strategy, but got there with head games. But, Joe splitting open Punk was a big point of divergence and allowed Joe to dominate a lot of the match, reversing things a bit. Punk tended to go for the headlocks and sleepers, hoping to wear down Joe. But, with Punk split open, Joe attacked the head and looked more for wins based around Punk losing consciousness. I loved Joe just headbutting Punk in the corner, leaving Joe with this bloody mark on his forehead from Punk's cut. It's not that Joe would never go for a choke hold, it's that this was more Punk's strategy and Joe took it over well, just beating down Punk, making him lose blood. A big sign that things were different in this match was the first attempt by Joe to go for the Ole Ole kick in the corner -- he hit it. Something that hadn't happened in the first two matches. In the second one, he eventually hit it, but not on the first try. It was a nice reversal with Punk looking like the guy trying to survive and stay on his feet after two matches where that was Joe. There was a spot where I thought the finish might have worked better as they exchanged quick pinfalls, but the finish of Joe choking Punk out, stopping his breathing, was a good one and played off Joe's different strategy here. While just over half the length of the previous two matches, this one held its own, creating a lot of spots that built on the first two to make a unique match.
Winner and STILL ROH World Champion: Samoa Joe [****]

Everyone was right. A trilogy of three amazing matches, each building on what came before. A good sign is when you know the result (and I did for all three) and the match still surprises you and draws you in. It's worth buying Allied Forces just for this disc.

Smarkass Reviews: WWE The Bash 2009

One of the two more recent WWE PPVs that I got at Wal-Mart for five dollars each, the Bash also has the distinction of being the first PPV I didn't see at the time after a long string of seeing all of them. I think I'd seen every PPV since missing Armageddon in 2007. My former roommate, Adam, and I (and others) would go to a local bar that showed the PPVs, a tradition I continued after Adam left town. That was until certain circumstances prevented the bar from showing PPVs anymore. The last one Michelle and I saw there was Backlash '09 and, then, we saw Extreme Rules '09 at a local movie theatre. But, for the cost, it didn't seem worth it except for specific PPVs that looked like they would be worth it. So, that meant missing the Bash that year and, now, I've finally seen it. Was it worth the wait?

Match #1: Championship Scramble for the ECW Title - Tommy Dreamer (C) vs. Christian vs. Jack Swagger vs. Finlay vs. Mark Henry
I actually like the Championship Scramble match concept: you start with two guys and, then, every five minutes, another wrestler enters the match until the fifth one comes in. After that, a five-minute countdown starts until the end of the match. At the end of the match, whoever scored the last pinfall or submission is the champion. Technically, after you've scored a pinfall or submission, you're considered the current champion (but it's not an official reign). It's a cool idea and leads to some interesting moments like the WWE Championship Scramble match where The Brian Kendrick was the champ for a few minutes. But, it's also a bit of an oddball concept, so I can see why they haven't used it since this match. Christian and Jack Swagger started things off, and that was good. It's weird to see how far Swagger's come since this point in time. Less than a year later, he'd be the World Heavyweight Champion and is definitely better in the ring now. But, a lot of that talent was already there. When Finlay entered, he came running to the ring and I lamented the lack of his old entrance theme that began with his voice proclaiming "My name is Finlay and I love to fight!" It would have been much more appropriate. The action in this match was good. Swagger got two pinfalls, Henry one, and Dreamer the last one. Dreamer leaving with the belt was so surprising that even he looked shocked that it happened. As far as an opening match goes, this was a smart choice. Granted, the crowd felt a little different. The silence during the Swagger/Christian part of the match was noticeable.
Winner and STILL ECW Champion: Tommy Dreamer [***]

Match #2: Intercontinental Championship vs. Mask Match - Chris Jericho (C) vs. Rey Mysterio
I always lamented never seeing this match, the third one in their trilogy of bouts in 2009 and, according to everyone, the best of the three. And they were right. What impressed me most about their second match, at Extreme Rules, was how it built on their first. Spots and moves weren't repeated with success, they were countered. Both men looked like professionals at the top of their game, able to learn from what happened before, and adapt on the spot. The fact that certain guys are able to do the same spots in the same order with success much of the time is something that I've never liked about wrestling. I'm sorry, but if you don't know the Attitude Adjustment is coming after the Five-Knuckle Shuffle, where have you been? COUNTER THAT MOTHERFUCKER, IDIOT! I know that the routine is integral to some, but I'd always prefer to see a match where it looks like both men have actually watched a wrestling match before. This match was one of those where it wasn't just move-countermove, it was move-countermove-countermove. It was one of the smartest in-ring work I've ever seen. Even the seemingly gimmicky finish of Rey Rey having a second mask on didn't come off that way -- it was another counter since Jericho won their last match by unmasking Mysterio and completely throwing him off his game. My favourite spot, though, was Jericho faking that the 619 landed near the end so he could lull Mysterio into doing a jump off the ropes and catch him, putting him into the Walls of Jericho. Definitely the high point of this PPV and, from what happens later, I know why they put it on second, but, really, they expected people to follow this match? After the Undertaker/Michaels at WrestleMania, it was the second-best WWE match of the year, easily.
Winner and NEW Intercontinental Champion: Rey Mysterio [****3/4]

Match #3: No Disqualification Match - Dolph Ziggler vs. The Great Khali
Remember when Dolph Ziggler first showed up and did that "Hi, I'm Dolph Ziggler" gimmick? And now he's the #1 contender for the World Heavyweight Championship. Did anyone see that coming then? This was the culmination of Ziggler's feud with Khali where Ziggler continued to outsmart the giant and walk away with victories (or, at least, leave the giant beaten and bruised). This match was shit. For the record, I'm pretty sure that being seven feet tall doesn't make punching a ringpost hurt any less. This was really the beginning of a Kane/Khali feud with Ziggler winning after Kane came down and beat the shit out of Khali with a chair. Whatever.
Winner: Dolph Ziggler [*]

Match #4: Unified Tag Team Championship Match - The Colons (C) vs. Priceless vs. Edge & Chris Jericho
This match became a triple threat match with Edge and Jericho added because of a story involving Smackdown General Manager Teddy Long being put on probation for not being innovative enough for Mr. McMahon's tastes. So, he threw in Edge and Jericho, which just pissed off the other four guys. So, the story of this match became the Colons and Priceless trying to have their match without ever allowing Edge and Jericho to enter (since tag matches with more than two teams still only have two men in the ring, leaving the extra teams on the apron, possibly never able to legally win the match). The couple of times where they managed to get in, they'd make the mistake of getting too close to one of the other corners and immediately tagged out. In the end, they managed to win after the match became a bit of a clusterfuck. Sadly, the Edge and Jericho team didn't last long once Edge suffered a torn Achilles heel. Still, a decent match with a cool story.
Winners and NEW Unified Tag Team Champions: Edge and Chris Jericho [**]

Match #5: Women's Championship Match - Melina (C) vs. Michelle McCool
We fast-forwarded through this.
Winner and NEW Women's Champion: Michelle McCool [N/A]

Match #6: World Heavyweight Championship Match - CM Punk (C) vs. Jeff Hardy
The beginning of Punk's heel turn after cashing in Money in the Bank on Hardy. This match wasn't as good as you'd expect given the two guys involved. Some nice spots, but not conhesive really. Neither guy seemed on the same page entirely. Maybe it was both men trying to wrestle as faces. Sometimes that dynamic doesn't work -- and Punk hadn't turned heel yet. I loved the false finish where Hardy thought he'd won, but the ref noticed Punk's leg was under the ropes after he'd counted the pin. It worked with the feud: Punk was technically in the right when he cashed in his Money in the Bank contract and, technically, Hardy didn't win here. Of course, I did enjoy the idea of Hardy, seemingly a face with lots of tenacity, being portrayed as a whiner for this entire storyline. The actual finish where Hardy went nuts on Punk, injuring his eye, so Punk kicked the ref was... meh. It was meant to be Punk couldn't see, so he didn't know who he was kicking -- but we see the small smile he gets as he walks away. The only thing is that the excuse that Punk couldn't see who he was kicking was just lame. It wasn't staged well. But, this is the beginnings of Punk turning heel, which was awesome. Also, the end of Hardy in the WWE.
Winner but NOT new World Heavyweight Champion: Jeff Hardy [**3/4]

Match #7: John Cena vs. the Miz
Like Ziggler and Swagger, the Miz has come a long way since this PPV. He's also become a lot more polished. What I noticed most from the recap video package was how calmer he is on the mic. The personality is the same, but he's slowed it down a little and is much more at ease. He's not trying so hard (or, more accurately, it doesn't look like he's trying so hard). This match was a squash. The Miz barely got in any offence and Cena just beat the shit out of him. Ah well.
Winner: John Cena [*1/2]

Match #8: Three Stages of Hell Match for the WWE Championship - Randy Orton (C) vs. Triple H
And we end things with an odd match. This is a two-out-of-three falls match where the first fall is a regular match, the second is a Falls Count Anywhere match, and the third is a Stretcher match. Now, I've only ever seen one Stretcher match that I'd want to see again and that was the one from Extreme Rules 2008 between Batista and Shawn Michaels -- and that's because of Chris Jericho's involvement, which was done in a way that only worked with a Stretcher match. Here, the Stretcher match doesn't follow any progression. A good progression for this sort of match: No DQ fall, Falls Count Anywhere fall, and, then, Last Man Standing to finish it off. See how that works? Here, it's disjointed. But, that was this storyline all over. It built to Orton winning the belt at WrestleMania... except Triple H retained and Orton won it at Backlash the following month. They just couldn't get things right here. I did like the way the first two falls ended: the first one had Triple H get disqualified when he attacked Orton with a chair, viciously beating him and, then, hitting a Pedigree on the floor to win the second fall. It was a good strategy, especially since Orton seemed so dead that rolling him past the line on a stretcher wouldn't be too difficult. From there, it was your standard hardcore match with a stretcher. Nothing too special. Rhodes and DiBiase helped Orton retain the belt. This would lead to Triple H finding Shawn Michaels to reunite DX since Trips couldn't handle the numbers game of fighting all of Legacy. A mediocre finish to a mediocre PPV.
Winner and STILL WWE Champion: Randy Orton [**1/2]

Overall Show Rating: 5.0 (out of 10)

Smarkass Reviews: WWE New Year's Revolution 2007

We watched this on New Year's Eve. It seemed fitting. While out that day at Wal-Mart, I came across a few more five dollar WWE pay-per-view DVDs and how am I to resist such a deal? The other two are from 2009 surprisingly. Quicker and quicker to the discount bin? I'll take it. I was curious to see New Year's Revolution because I have The New and Improved DX DVD set, which showed us pretty much every moment of the 2006 reunion of Degeneration X... concluding with the Survivor Series from that year. Except, DX didn't break up there, they continued as a unit for another month or so, right up through New Year's Revolution where Triple H tore his quad, ending the duo's reunion. I can understand wanting to end the DVD on the high note of the Suvivor Series where DX, the Hardys, and CM Punk won their match without a single elimination. It's a much better ending than 'and then it all stopped because Triple H tore his quad doing a spinebuster.' That doesn't mean I don't want to see it, though. So, Michelle and I killed two and a half hours on New Year's Eve watching this.

Match #1: Steel Cage Match for the Intercontinental Championship -- Jeff Hardy (C) vs. Johnny Nitro
A great choice to open the show. The story going into this is that Nitro (now John Morrison for those who don't know) had been IC champ twice in the past, both reigns ended by Jeff Hardy. So, Nitro wants the belt, Hardy has it, and we get a steel cage match. Michelle said that this is the best steel cage match she's seen, but she hasn't seen a lot. It wasn't bad, it was energetic and had some cool spots. It also had some laboured parts where the match should have ended if you thought about it for more than few seconds. Oddly, none of the usual 'Jeff Hardy could win but decides to jump off the top of the cage instead' moments. Nitro was more mat-based than he is now and I couldn't help but wonder how much better this match would be now. Not a fair judgement, I know, but it's what I was thinking. Some of the parts I liked were Melina using her belt to whip Hardy's hands when he tried to climb the cage and a spot where Hardy tried to pull Nitro down, but Nitro hooked his feet in at the top of the cage and Hardy just fell hard to the mat. The finish was the best part of the match with Nitro trying to escape over the top and use his foot to keep the door shut after Melina failed until Hardy kicked it open and crotched Nitro in the process. It was different.
Winner and STILL Intercontinental Champion: Jeff Hardy [***]

Match #2: Tag-Team Turmoil -- The Highlanders vs. the World's Greatest Tag Team / The World's Greatest Tag Team vs. "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan & Super Crazy / The World's Greatest Tag Team vs. Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch / Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch vs. Cryme Tyme
This is a gauntlet-style match where two teams begin and every time a team is defeated, another comes out until there are no more, and the final winning team would get a future title shot. This whole thing was fine and was billed as a 'bonus' match (aka added to the card to fill time the night of the show). It felt a little long in spots. The initial match between the Highlanders (remember them?) and the World's Greatest Tag Team (Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas) just kind of kept going. It made the Highlanders look stronger than they should have, but sold the idea of the WGTT being weaker as things went on since... come on, son, look at them and then look at the other teams here. There's a reason they had that name. Only Cade and Murdoch seemed to be in their league. The stuff with the WGTT followed a pattern: first match it was both, second match it was Haas, third match it was Benjamin. They also won the first two matches by cheating the same way, so losing when that didn't work/was countered made sense. It coming down to Cade & Murdoch and Cryme Tyme had me thinking Cade and Murdoch would win, but no. It was your typical Cryme Tyme match that they never outgrew or changed up aside from the result: JTG gets beat down, Shad makes hot tag and clears house. I would have rather saw the World's Greatest Tag Team go through everyone until Cade & Murdoch, and had that finish things. But, whatever. Nothing was too bad and I won't complain about seeing Benjamin, Haas, Cade, and Murdoch in the same ring... even if it's only for a part of a larger match.
Winners: Cryme Tyme [**]

Match #3: Ric Flair vs. Kenny Dykstra
When the Spirit Squad broke up, Kenny was the guy they decided to push and that made sense to a degree. He was athletic and could do some big jumps off the top rope. Why not him? This match was part of trying to get him over by having him feud with Ric Flair. Flair had done the same for a few other guys before this, so, again, why not? It didn't work and this match shows why. They had Dykstra try to gain heat by imitating Flair. He came out in a robe, he did the strut, he tried to use the Figure Four... except Dykstra had no charisma. Or, to be less nasty, he didn't have the 'Slick Ric' charisma. That wasn't him. It just looked kind of sad. To put things in perspective: AJ Styles was better at doing Ric Flair than Dykstra is. He wasn't suited to the role and the match suffered as a result. If they let Dykstra be himself a bit more, the storytelling could have been better. When he got to do his thing, the match was at its best. Seeing him jump to the top rope effortlessly is pretty cool. The finish where he nailed Flair with a ball shot was a play on Flair's own use of the move and just sort of ended the match out of nowhere. That would be a recurring theme.
Winner: Kenny Dykstra [*3/4]

Match #4: Women's Championship Match -- Mickie James (C) vs. Victoria
Prior to this, Victoria had been taking out Divas and checking their names off a list she was carrying. Before the match, she tried to get Melina to help her by promising her the first title shot if she made sure Victoria walked away champion. Weird to see this match given that this feud just happened again at TNA. Is TNA four years behind the times? Oh ho ho. This was a pretty decent women's match. James was more energetic here than I can remember seeing anytime recently. Not as polished, but more energetic. Melina did try to help, but, then, all of the face Divas came down and beat her up, siding with James. Mickie won and it was fine.
Winner and STILL Women's Champion: Mickie James [*1/2]

Match #5: World Tag Team Championship Match -- Rated RKO (C) vs. Degeneration X
Ah, the match I was waiting for. This one became a brutal, bloody mess by the end, and it's a really big shame that Trips got hurt, because I would have loved to see this followed up on immediately. The match was your standard tag match with a few bits of blood until it took a nasty turn. First, Trips tore his quad doing a spinebuster... and continued the match. It took a slightly downturn after the injury because no one knew what to do. Some people give guys props for continuing on when hurt like this. I tend to take the longview approach that continuing to work when injured is just stupid. End the match in a timely fashion and don't risk making things worse. I will give Triple H credit in that he noticeably did things to avoid doing further damage to his leg like basically twisting while doing the Pedigree so he landed on his other side. But, this match just sort of devolved by the end with Shawn Michaels taking out the ref and Edge and Orton both horribly bloodied. Orton especially. He was COVERED and openly spurting blood from his head. Nasty blade job. The whole thing ended with Triple H pedigreeing Edge on the announce desk, while Michaels delivered an elbow drop off the top rope onto the Spanish announce desk where Orton was. There was no bell, but it was clear that DX took the DQ. An odd match that is both impressive and a little hard to watch when you look at it in the larger context of its time.
Winners and STILL World Tag Team Champions (vis disqualification): Rated RKO [***]

Match #6: Chris Masters vs. Carlito
A little nothing feud and nothing match. Masters is better now, but Carlito didn't seem to care too much. He did do the two-rope springboard that always looks awesome, but otherwise? This was just a filler between the two big matches on the card. It suffered from a surprising out of nowhere win that just stopped the match and didn't feel organic in any way.
Winner: Chris Masters [*1/2]

Match #7: WWE Championship Match -- John Cena (C) vs. Umaga
Going into this, Umaga was basically unstoppable and had never been pinned or made to submit (not sure if he was undefeated entirely -- he may have suffered DQ losses). This match was John Cena getting the shit kicked out of him for 15 minutes with every attempt at offence either failing or doing almost nothing. Umaga would get knocked down and before Cena was up after hitting the move, Umaga was on his feet and charging. During the match, Jim Ross made a comparison between Umaga and Yokozuna that made my eyes roll, because Umaga was so quick and agile. I still hate that he was saddled with this gimmick -- if he had a more 'normal' character, he could have been a consistent main eventer. He had power and speed. I don't know... he was always a guy who really impressed me in the ring for his ability to do almost anything and do it well. You don't see many big guys with his speed and agility and it seemed wasted on a one-note monster sort of character. This match was pretty good. It was a long squash match in many ways with Cena barely holding on and, eventually, picking up the win by a quick roll-up that happened to work. He didn't so much win as get lucky that he survived. Apparently, their rematch at the Royal Rumble was even better. Since I knew that match happened, I expected Umaga to lose via disqualification here. The squeaker of a win was a better choice, because Cena got to walk away with some pride... but that empty kind where everyone (including him) knows that he didn't earn the win really. He got lucky.
Winner and STILL WWE Champion: John Cena [**3/4]

This PPV shows off why the brand extension isn't taken too seriously by the WWE anymore. You think cards now are empty and mostly filler? Take a look at this one! It's nice to see midcarders get to work PPVs, but this was a two, maybe three, match show. The other matches were good for the most part, but, aside from the opener, the DX/Rated RKO, and WWE Championship matches, does anyone care? And no one in those other matches made us care here. A middling, mediocre show. But, hey, at five bucks, I'm not complaining.

Show Rating: 5.0 (out of 10)

Playlist Week Day 5 -- Neil Young

[This weekend, I got the new issue of Rolling Stone, which included a bunch of specific playlists like Bono's David Bowie playlist or Ozzy Osbourne's Beatles playlist. So, for this week, I'll be doing five playlists of ten songs per artist/band each day with some brief comments on the song. All songs in chronological order.]

It's motherfuckin' Neil Young.

1. "The Loner" (1968) from Neil Young: The stuff about the guy being on the subway, sitting at the back, reminded me of me sitting at the back of the bus...

2. "Only Love Can Break Your Heart" (1970) from After the Gold Rush: Man, is that title wrong or what? Or is it? The "I have a friend I never see..." predicted the internet age... if you take it literally.

3. "A Man Needs a Maid" (1972) from Harvest: I love the Live as Massey Hall version of this where the lyrics talk about being 'afraid' a bit more. But, there's something sad and loneyly about this song. Some think it's sexist, but it's really just about a guy who's so lonely that he may as well get a maid, because that's the only way to have a woman around his place these days. I love the overproduction.

4. "Revolution Blues" (1974) from On the Beach: Angry and darkly funny. Sure, it's about Charles Manson, but it's also about how shitty LA is. One of those songs that I can play over and over forever.

5. "Cortez the Killer" (1975) from Zuma: Killer guitar work. "Cotez, Cortez, what a killer, man." What? He was!

6. "Campaigner" (1977) from Decade: "Even Richard Nixon has got soul." Imagine singing a song with that in it? Young went where he wanted. And this song captures something about politics and wanting to be loved. A rare one that's worth tracking down.

7. "Powderfinger" (1979) from Rust Never Sleeps: A story song that has a good driving rhythm.

8. "Crime in the City (Sixty to Zero Part I)" (1989) from Freedom: Fuck, this song is so cynical and bitter. The stuff about producing a record is just mean. This song is about as bad an indictment of the Reagan years as anything else.

9. "Harvest Moon" (1992) from Harvest Moon: "When we were strangers, I watched you from afar / When we were lovers, I loved you with all my heart." I love that line. For some reason, I obsessively listened to this song one day in my third year of university. I had this poli-sci class of maybe 30 people. A seminar class and one of the students in the class died. Class was cancelled as a result and I looked around when we were told and I couldn't see anyone missing. That feels like it should mean something, but I've never been able to figure out what... except that I'm a dick.

10. "Ordinary People" (2007) from Chrome Dreams II: A loooooooooooooong song, but one that sums up Young's caring about the average guy. As much as a man like Neil Young can. This brings in his political stuff, his Farm Aid stuff, his electric car stuff... not explicitly, but it's all there.

Later.

Playlist Week Day 4 -- Ryan Adams

[This weekend, I got the new issue of Rolling Stone, which included a bunch of specific playlists like Bono's David Bowie playlist or Ozzy Osbourne's Beatles playlist. So, for this week, I'll be doing five playlists of ten songs per artist/band each day with some brief comments on the song. All songs in chronological order.]

The only non-Canadian during this week of playlists, Adams quickly became one of my favourite musicians after I picked up his album lloR N kcoR on a whim. He works a variety of styles, willing to just dash off songs and work at a very quick pace. It's an attitude and work ethic that would have made him fit in with the music industry of the '60s/'70s, but he's seen as an oddity now -- someone who should slow down or simply bank his best material for ecclectic albums. Me, I prefer the less polished cohesive wholes he delivers. Then again, I'll take three very good albums in a year over one possibly better album once every three or four years... But, I digress. Ryan Adams!

1. "Come Pick Me Up" (2000) from Heartbreaker: Not many can write about fucked up relationships like Adams and this one helped kick off his solo career. What's worse: stealing someone's records or fucking their friends on his bed? I demand to know!

2. "The Bar is a Beautiful Place" (2001) from Gold (bonus 'side 4' track): Not a song a lot of people have heard necessarily since it was available on a bonus disc for Gold. This was one of my favourite songs of the summer of 2007. As a non-drinker, using this as my status on MSN had people wondering what was up with me... but it's just a sad song about self-destruction and a bad break-up. It's one of those songs that is so damn emotional.

3. "English Girls Approximately" (2003) from Love is Hell: The line "English girls can be so mean" may be about girls from England, but it will always make me think of girls in my English classes. Not that they were especially mean or anything... just pining over girls in classes and such. Also, the part where he goes "Just three words, my love: you meant everything" is fantastic. A double-meaning saying that she meant everything to him, but also she meant everything they did -- it meant something to her, too. That reminds me of something once...

4. "Note to Self: Don't Die" (2003) from lloR N kcoR: "Note to self: don't die for anyone / Note to self: don't die / Note to self: don't change for anyone / Don't change, just lie." Fuck, Ryan Adams can write some good lyrics that get at the heart of matters. Not that I necessarily advocate this approach. But, I always dug that.

5. "Rock and Roll" (2003) from lloR N kcoR: This song was really from the Love is Hell sessions and stands out on lloR N kcoR as this downbeat piano-driven song on an album of loud, brash rawk music. But, it's also a song that I can recite right now. Pretty simple. Sad. It's about being hung up on a girl. It's always about girls.

6. "Magnolia Mountain" (2005) from Cold Roses: "Lie to me like I lie to you" is another fantastic line. In my year as a Gazette Arts & Entertainment editor, this was my most played song. Just a beautiful, wonderful song that makes me want to sing along.

7. "The End" (2005) from Jacksonville City Nights: I love the way he crams in the line "The waitress tries to give me change but I say nah that's cool just keep it." It doesn't fit the metre or length of the line, but he gets it in there. A more romantic/nice flipside of "29" I'd argue.

8. "29" (2005) from 29: Driving beat, semi-autobiographic lyrics that make you not want to like Adams... it's a helluva way to kick off an album, but it's great at building as the song progresses. The chorus is fun to sing along to.

9. "Halloweenhead" (2007) from Easy Tiger: One morning, I thought my roommate Adam wasn't home, so I put this on loud and sang along to it a half dozen times or so. He was home and still hates me to this day for that. A stupidly absurd title and concept, but it's got great music and some killer lines like "I just watch, I don't go inside" or the shouting of "Guitar solo!" before the guitar solo. Shows off how catchy Adams can be...

10. "Magick" (2008) from Cardinology: But not as catchy as this song. Two minutes to accomplish what 99% of the shit on the radio takes five minutes to not accomplish. I could listen to this song forever. How this wasn't a #1 hit still baffles me. Michelle isn't really a Ryan Adams fan, but she loves this song. "So turn the radio on / So turn the radio up / So turn the radio up loud and get down / Let your body move / Let your body sway / Listen to the music play / It's magick, it's magick." Fuckin' a, man.

Tomorrow, we finish things up with Neil Young.

Playlist Week Day 3 -- The Barenaked Ladies

[This weekend, I got the new issue of Rolling Stone, which included a bunch of specific playlists like Bono's David Bowie playlist or Ozzy Osbourne's Beatles playlist. So, for this week, I'll be doing five playlists of ten songs per artist/band each day with some brief comments on the song. All songs in chronological order.]

For a long time, the Barenaked Ladies were my favourite band. At some point, that stopped being true, but I never lost all interest. They're the ex-girlfriend that I'm still friends with. That good friend you get together with every few months and have a fantastic time with, but then don't see again for another six months. Just the way it is. They can do jokey, they can do smart, they can do emotional... they can do funky, they can do rock, they can do pop. I still haven't heard their latest album beyond the first single (money issues -- it's on my Christmas list) and I'm curious to know how the Steven Page-less band sounds. As this list shows, my tastes tended to run towards Page's contributions.

1. "Brian Wilson" (1992) from Gordon: I didn't know who Brian Wilson was before this song. I knew the Beach Boys, sure, but not the man. This is just a great song. The band was more famous for "If I Had $1000000" but this was always their true 'anthem' song for me.

2. "What a Good Boy" (1992) from Gordon: A song about the weird gender politics and the bullshit we dump on our kids. This song touched something in me when I was in high school and sometimes struggled with the expectations of being the 'smart kid.' Odds are, those expectations were more my doing than anyone else's, but everyone struggles with the labels placed upon them (whether by others or themselves).

3. "Life, in a Nutshell" (1994) from Maybe You Should Drive: This is my favourite BNL album. They made an effort in some ways to move away from the funnier, lighter side of Gordon and there's some real struggling with the early 20s here, I think. This song is upbeat and great and just about having a really solid relationship that's going well. It's probably the most 'mature' song on the album.

4. "The Old Apartment" (1996) from Born on a Pirate Ship: A 'you can't go home again' song... strong playing on the instruments and the odd funny line, this song hit me a new way when I moved away from home. Even going back to my parents' place is a different experience. I love my life now, but there's something sad about losing that old home.

5. "One Week" (1998) from Stunt: How can you ignore the song that made the band 'overnight' superstars in the US?

6. "Conventioneers" (2000) from Maroon: This a funky, almost loungey song... a song that sounds like it should be used to seduce a woman if the lyrics didn't send the exact opposite message by the end. But, the end of the song is great as it shows how a flirty, sexually-charged relationship can exist... until sex is actually had and then what? It was all just empty flirtation with nothing underneath. Never had that experience myself, but I imagine it could be very awkward.

7. "Shopping" (2003) from Everything to Everyone: "Everything will always be all right when we go shopping." A song that's just about mocking George Bush and the Republicans for that 'shopping to fight terrorism' bullshit, this song is also incredibly catchy. It's just plain fun to sing. I once wrote a comic script where the centrepiece of the issue was a giant musical dance number in a mall with this as the song that everyone sings.

8. "Sound of Your Voice" (2006) from Barenaked Ladies are Me: Some rockin' guitars kick this one off and it's weird to know that this is a Kevin Hearn song that he passed along to Page to sing. This song has hit that personal spot with me where the chorus makes me think of the days Michelle is out of town or I'm out of town or whatever. Sure, it's a song about a guy who fucked up and screwed up his relationship... but, for me, it's just about missing that person you love. Missing them being around. You get oddly used to them. I also like the line "This little song is about second chances."

9. "I Can I Will I Do" (2007) from Barenaked Ladies are Men: A similar vibe to "Conventioneers," I love the way Page sings the title line.

10. "You Run Away" (2010) from All in Good Time: Is this the "Cannonball" of BNL? I do like how they made the first single about Page's leaving the band. It's a decent song and the underlying emotion carries it.

Tomorrow: Ryan Adams

Playlist Week Day 2 -- The Tragically Hip

[This weekend, I got the new issue of Rolling Stone, which included a bunch of specific playlists like Bono's David Bowie playlist or Ozzy Osbourne's Beatles playlist. So, for this week, I'll be doing five playlists of ten songs per artist/band each day with some brief comments on the song. All songs in chronological order.]

Today, it's the Tragically Hip, a Canadian rock band that's developed the status of the Canadian rock band. Every album of theirs since their first album has been #2 or #1 on the charts (more likely to be #1 with only three failing to hit that mark, while their first LP only reached #13). It's just some good rock music. My list is skewed towards their early albums a bit and I don't subscribe to the idea that they began to suck around the time of Phantom Power, but it's hard to deny the quality of their early material. Their later material isn't as catchy always, isn't as easy to get into... isn't as memorable at times. And listeners of the Splash Page Podcast will know the lead singer of the band, Gord Downie, for the bit of his song "We're Hardcore" that we use to kick the show off.

1. "Blow at High Dough" (1989) from Up to Here: The first song on the first Tragically Hip LP and it's about shooting a porn flick in a small town. It's a rocking song that starts off slow, but gives a great first impression of the band's sound. When you figure out/learn what the song is about, it's hard not to laugh at times. I do like the drumming.

2. "Long Time Running" (1991) from Road Apples: A quiet, moody song. When I hear this song, I picture Gord Downie or someone slowly walking down a dark street, wearing a suit with the tie undone, bottle of beer in his hand... it's that kind of song.

3. "At the Hundredth Meridian" (1992) from Fully Completely: A cool rock song. I love the line "I seem to remember every single fucking thing I know." Just a song that hits on that leve you dig. You know?

4. "Wheat Kings" (1992) from Fully Completely: A song, at least partly, about David Milgaard and his wrongful conviction for rape and murder. A slow, quiet song that has some great singing. Maybe it's the Canadian in me, but the line "Late-breaking story on the CBC..." appeals to me.

5. "Nautical Disaster" (1994) from Day for Night: Actually, I'd probably recommended the live version off Live Between Us with Downie prefacing the song with talk of a movie adaptation that's kind of funny. This is an odd song about a dream of a life as a lighthouse keeper. There's a nice build. The Hip does good slow builds that turn into big drums and lots of rawk.

6. "Ahead by a Century" (1996) from Trouble at the Henhouse: Probably my favourite Hip song. A mellow sort of song with a rock edge. "Disappointing you's getting me down" became my personal shame of a mantra for the past couple of years.

7. "Bobcaygeon" (1998) from Phantom Power: A story song. The video for this song is a completely literal interpretation of the lyrics and works really well. The way the verses repeat themselves is good.

8. "Fireworks" (1998) from Phantom Power: Another song with a line that stands out: "You said you didn't give a fuck about hockey / Well I never saw someone say that before." So Canadian and can't help but make me laugh. And I'm not a big hockey fan. I just know what a line like that means. The song is about not knowing what marriage and relationships are really about; spending too much time together and things turning into a weird cold war.

9. "It's a Good Life if You Don't Weaken" (2002) from In Violet Light: The interplay of the music and Downie's vocals is startling. There's a real orchestral vibe to the way the instruments are played, while Downie just gives it his all. Downie is underrated at times, I think, as a singer. He's very good at emotion and mood.

10. "Now the Struggle Has a Name" (2009) from We are the Same: The title of the album comes from a line in this song. It seems like a song that sums up where the Hip are. Their album after In Violet Light was called In Between Evolution, suggesting that they thought they were on the brink of change, but, here, they seem to be reconciling themselves with the fact that no matter how much they try to grow, there's a core identity to band that holds them back. But, it's also that the name of the struggle is 'We are the Same.' How does a band that's been around for 20 years and seen massive success change and grow without causing their fans to turn on them? Oddly, this is all my reading of the song since none of that is in here. But, the song brings out those ideas.

Tomorrow: the Barenaked Ladies.

Playlist Week Day 1 -- Hawksley Workman

[This weekend, I got the new issue of Rolling Stone, which included a bunch of specific playlists like Bono's David Bowie playlist or Ozzy Osbourne's Beatles playlist. So, for this week, I'll be doing five playlists of ten songs per artist/band each day with some brief comments on the song. All songs in chronological order.]

I'm beginning with Hawksley Workman, a Canadian singer/songerwriter/rock and roller/whatever else you call a guy like that. He's eclectic, energetic, funky, sad, fantastic, and other adjectives. I've seen him twice in concert and enjoyed both times quite a bit.

1. "Tarantulove" (1999) from For Him and the Girls: I love the slow, drum-heavy pace of this song. He almost seems to be slurring his words without actual slurring them. A very offbeat, weird feeling in this song. "Well, I'm no doctor, baby, but I know what's good for me" is a great line.

2. "Safe and Sound" (1999) from For Him and the Girls: A sweet, soft song. One of the sweetest and softest I know. This is a song that I didn't really get until my current relationship with Michelle. It's about love and assuring the person you're with that they can trust you completely and just feel safe... and damned if that isn't a great feeling.

3. "Striptease" (2001) from (Last Night We Were) The Delicious Wolves: Funky and loud and rude and crude... this is my favourite song to get dressed to, ironically. If I were a stripper, this would be the song I stripped to. It's not exactly a strip club song, but whatever. Hawksley doing pure rock and roll.

4. "Anger as Beauty" (2003) from lover/fighter: This song has one of my favourite lines of all time: "Fighter soul alive in a whiskey-fueled rage." I wrote a comic script about that line once. This was the single that made me pick up lover/fighter and get into Workman's music.

5. "Autumn's Here" (2003) from lover/fighter: A song I play every year in the fall. Just Workman and a piano (a trumpet comes in later) totally describing the feeling of a windy, cloudly, chilly autumn day. He captures the feeling of the season so well. It's sad and melancholy. There's a line where he says "It's okay if you want to cry" and I remember waiting for the bus in the fall one day in my second year of university and being damn near tears for no good reason as this song played. A moment of beauty and sadness... So, this gets played every year in the fall.

6. "God Decides" (2004) from My Little Toothless Beauties: From one of his 'lost' albums, this song begins and ends My Little Toothless Beauties. This album is Workman's Tonight's the Night or 29 for me. This song is epic as Workman with a thumping death march of a beat and a piano runs down what 'god decides.' It's a nihilistic, angry song.

7. "You Are Too Beautiful" (2006) from Treeful of Starling: Another soft, sweet song. The chorus of "You are too beautiful to be in bed with me" always hit something in me. Because every guy worth a damn knows it's true about the woman he loves. Especially when he follows that line up with "If you could see the thoughts I see, if you could see my thoughts, baby, you'd agree." Sweet and lovely, but also hinting at the horribly perverted and fucked up shit guys think about. I like the subtle humour. Plus, Workman nails a wicked high note.

8. "It's a Drug" (2008) from Los Manlicious: A big heavy guitar begins this one. I'm a sucker for songs about how great music is and this song is just such a thing.

9. "Prettier Face" (2008) from Los Manlicious: Los Manlicious was the second album Workman released in 2008, paired with Between the Beautifuls and this song was on both. I prefer this version as it comes closer to capturing the stunning live performance of it that I saw at the second Workman show I attended. A depressing song of self-loathing that descends into the repetition of "And I can't hide these uncried tears no more" after some good lines like "Drinking just to empty the cup" and "Oh, baby, I've had enough." The live version was positively apocalyptic when he got to the repetition. One of the best live performances I've ever seen.

10. "You Don’t Just Want to Break Me" (2010) from Meat: Another song that descends into repetition with a similar tone, but I think he captures the empty sadness better here. This one has a little funkier of a beat and isn't as obviously self-loathing. This is more angry and accusatory than "Prettier Face." The repeating lines of "You don't just want to break me, you want to tear me apart" come after a shift in the music... it's almost like two songs smashed together after a slowing drum beat that suddenly switches. The repetition starts calmly but gains emotion as it progresses. I played this song over and over on the CBC Radio 3 website before the album was out.

Tomorrow: The Tragically Hip

Smarkass Reviews -- Full Impact Pro: The Usual Suspects

I got this at Zellers for five bucks along with the first Shimmer show for the same price. They even had a Glow DVD, a hardcore reunion special, and the first two seasons of XPW, all for five bucks each, but none of them seem like something I'd want for free, so they get left in the store. Last night, Michelle and I watched Full Impact Pro's The Usual Suspects and it was an interesting experience. There's the fun of seeing some people you recognise back when they were younger. Full Impact Pro is a smaller indie promotion, partnered with Ring of Honor until 2009 when it switched to Dragon Gate USA. I've seen a few FIP matches on the 'bonus' discs of Dragon Gate USA DVDs. When people talk about companies that run shows in gyms, this is a perfect example.

This show is from April 22, 2005 and is the introduction of tag team titles to FIP. Instead of having a tournament, the whole thing is set up with no rules. Somehow, we're told, a team will win the belts before the show is over. No idea how, but it will happen. In this respect, one of the announcers, Dave Prazak (who is also a manager) is amusing throughout the show, especially in the beginning, by just trashing the lack of a plan. At first, he seemed like the model for the Cole/Matthews team on NXT...

Match #1: The Heartbreak Express vs. The Carnage Crew
No idea who any of these guys are, but one of them is a fat guy whose character, as far as I can tell, is 'gay Dusty Rhodes.' I swear to god. He rips off Rhodes so much, but throws in extra camp behaviour that I can only surmise that, when coming up with what a big white fat guy could do, someone said "Just rip off Dusty Rhodes!" and someone else laughed and said, "Nah, that would be too blatant. Better play it safe and make it gay Dusty!" The match itself was very sloppy. The Heartbreak Express cheated a lot and there was a bit surrounding Gay Dusty Rhodes hurting his ass -- and one of his opponents smacking him on the ass, oddly. In the end, the Carnage Crew won, so... they won?
Winners: The Carnage Crew [*]

Match #2: The Carnage Crew vs. The Ring Crew Express
Almost immediately, Dunn & Marcos, the Ring Crew Express were out to challenge the Carnage Crew. This match was short and incredibly spotty. Spotty in that way where Dunn & Marcos would go for a tandem move and their target would stand there, waiting for them to execute it. They're a fun, cruiserweight tag team with a 'rock n roll' attitude, but you can see why they haven't really gone anywhere, not even a big run in ROH (though, they were there for a period).
Winners: The Ring Crew Express [1/2*]

Match #3: The Ring Crew Express vs. DP Associates
Prazak introduced the tag team he manages, DP Associates (Jimmy Rave and "Fast" Eddie Vegas) as if they would fight the Ring Crew Express. But, Prazak backed out of the match, saying he wanted to find the right opponents for his boys that night.

Match #3: Roderick Strong & Jerrelle Clark vs. Homicide & Vordell Walker
The first match of the night to really feature anyone I know with Roderick Strong and Homicide. This match was actually the best of the night. Strong and Homicide began things, and had some nice back and forth until things broke out into this frantic brawl/grappling section that reminded me of amateur wrestling quite a bit. After they broke it, Homicide staggered around, blaming 'too much weed' for why he couldn't keep it up too long. Walker wrestled a power game well, while Clark played on the agility and speed. Eventually, it broke into a free-for-all where terms like 'legal man' meant jackshit and Strong and Clark won only when Homicide was kept to the outside. No, I was impressed with the work in this match. Definitely the stand-out of the show -- and, oddly, like many tournaments, it had you wishing that this first-round (if you could say there are rounds in this show) match was the finals.
Winners: Roderick Strong & Jerrelle Clark [***1/2]

Match #4: Spanky & Sal Rinauro vs. Steve Madison & James Gibson
Michelle is infinitely amused that Brian Kendrick began his career as 'Spanky' (apparently named after his means of staying awake on long road trips... ew). I think that's the only reason she wanted to watch this one before the Shimmer DVD (she basically said as much). This match was a little disappointing. I don't think things ever really cohered. Gibson and Madison were decent, while Rinauro was unimpressive. Kendrick was somewhere between. Madison was the biggest of the group and he stuck out for that reason, never getting into a groove with the other three. I know others are high on Gibson (Jamie Noble), but he's never really impressed me. Maybe I haven't seen the right matches. His work in the WWE was fine and, here, he was a little better than the average FIP guy, but not by much. After the match, Madison turned on Gibson, blaming him for the loss (despite him being the one that was pinned).
Winners: Spanky & Sal Rinauro [**]

Interlude #1: CM Punk!
CM Punk finally arrived, FIP World Heavyweight Championship belt in his possession. He'd apparently stolen the belt from Homicide, the true champ. Punk was good on the mic. He put over his faction, the New Dawn, and his wanting all of the rejects, because he can turn them into the best. His example was Don Juan, a guy who thinks he's king shit, and is just kind of a joke. This continued until Homicide chased Punk around the ring and to the back. Punk was good on the mic, basically doing a less developed version of what he does now. I was happy.

Match #5: DP Associates vs. Evan Starsmore & Aaron Epic
Finally, Dave Prazak found the right team for DP Associates to fight: two jobbers! And, yeah, jobbers by FIP standards... you can imagine what that's like. This match was brief, but oddly longer than you'd expect with two jobbers. Strange.
Winners: DP Associates [1/4*]

Match #6: DP Associates vs. The Ring Crew Express
Quickly, after the match was over, the Ring Crew Express hit the ring to have the match teased earlier. DP Associates got a chance to show what they can do a bit more. There was a funny moment where Vegas turned around and started wailing on Rave, who was being held by Dun (or Marcos) and didn't seem to notice it was his partner that he was hitting. Weird stuff. I liked Rave, but Vegas just rubbed me the wrong way. I don't know why. This match was fine and gave the DP Associates a second win for the night.
Winners: DP Associates [*1/2]

Match #7: CM Punk & Don Juan vs. Spanky & Sal Rinauro
Punk came out again to cut a promo, saying that he had Homicide arrested (but would not be pressing charges) and would fight him at the next night's show, because he's a fighting champion. Spanky and Rinauro then challenged the pair. Punk was a little more jokey here -- both in and out of the ring. There was a funny spot where he had had Juan work over the arm of Spanky (I believe) when the ref was distrated, Juan facing away from the ring and slamming the arm again and again over his shoulder. They did that a couple of times until Spanky stuck Punk's arm over Juan's shoulder and he didn't realise that it was Punk. Oh, dumb heels, will you ever learn? From there, the faces were in charge for much of the match, but the heels still won with a little cheating. Spanky and Rinauro looked better here, while Punk showed some flashes of brilliance. Juan was... there.
Winners: CM Punk & Don Juan [**1/2]

Match #8: Three Way Dance -- Antonio Banks vs. Rainman vs. Jared Steel
You'll know Antonio Banks as the now-former MVP. His opponents were two rather large guys that seemed to hate him more than one another and double-teamed him at first. Matches like this are hard to work, but the added elimination-style set-up should have made that easier since there wouldn't be the breaking up of pinfalls since one of your opponents eliminating the other one benefits you. Well, you'd think that until Banks was pinning Steel, Rainman knocked Banks off, hit a move, and eliminated Steel. Um, why? From there, Banks showed a couple of Benoit-esque moves that made me laugh because of the way Benoit put over MVP for the US Championship. Banks tried for the multiple German suplexes and won the match with the Crossface. There was also an appearance by the Drive-By kick to the head in the corner. You could see the future MVP in Banks here. It was a decent enough match, I guess. It didn't get good, though, until Steel was gone and it was a regular one-on-one match.
Winner: Antonio Banks [*3/4]

Match #9: Three Way Dance for the FIP Tag Team Championship -- DP Associates vs. Roderick Strong & Jerrelle Clark vs. CM Punk & Don Juan
While Prazak said on commentary that it should be DP Associates vs. the winner of the other two teams since they had both only won one match, while DP Associates had won two, he then suggested on the mic that it be a Three Way Dance. What happened? I imagine it was someone looking at the time and realising they needed to wrap things up. The two heel teams worked as one, for the most part, working over Roderick Strong for the first part of the match until Clark finally got in and eliminated Juan (and Punk). That left a fairly standard face/heel pairing with the ending coming in a pretty dominant fashion as Strong was on the outside, allowing Vegas and Rave to hit the Double Penetration (and it resembles one...) to become the FIP Tag Team Champions. Not a bad choice since, out of the established tag teams, they had the best gimmick and could draw some heat with Prazak as their manager.
Winners and NEW FIP Tag Team Champions: DP Associates [**1/4]

Overall, it was a mixed show. Only a few matches really rose above 'mediocre' (and, then, not by much) aside from the Strong & Clark/Homicide & Walker match, which was quite good. A more focused show with a better game plan would have been better. It ultimately became a single-elimination tournament with random pairings, which is fine... if they established it as that. It's not like planning out a tournament is that hard, even if it's a gauntlet-style one like this kind of was. I definitely think it was worth the five dollars I paid, but that's about the most I'd pay for it at the same time. As I said at the top, it was cool seeing some guys I know before I knew them. CM Punk in particular is great to see in his pre-WWE days. He's definitely a guy who found his character early and has perfected it, and seeing some of the early stages of that is interesting.

Show Rating: 5.0 (out of 10)

King of the Ring 2010 Predictions

Tonight is the King of the Ring tournament for 2010. Technically, it's happening live right now, but, here in Canada, it won't be on for another hour since the Score didn't want to alter their regular programming schedule. The WWE put up the brackets today, so I figured I'd give my predictions:

1st Round
* John Morrison vs. "Dashing" Cody Rhodes: This is a tough one as I could see both men going past the first round against other opponents. Part of figuring out who will advance is looking at who they would possibly be facing in the 2nd round. I'd rather see "Dashing" Cody Rhodes go over, but John Morrison seems more likely. Winner: "Dashing" Cody Rhodes
* Daniel Bryan vs. Alberto Del Rio: Another tough one, but I'd rather see Del Rio advance since Bryan doesn't need the victory as much. Winner: Alberto Del Rio
* Ezekiel Jackson vs. Drew McIntyre: Wow. I look at the first two match-ups and I see two competitive matches where I wouldn't mind any of the guys advancing. Here, I see the 'Chosen One' who hasn't done shit and a muscle-bound freak that, if he won, would basically be King Mabel II. Winner: Ezekiel Jackson
* Kofi Kingston vs. Sheamus: This could be a decent match, but Kingston is here to make Sheamus look good. Winner: Sheamus

2nd Round (they gave the brackets for this)
* "Dashing" Cody Rhodes vs. Alberto Del Rio: I can see Del Rio making it to the finals, but would definitely rather see Rhodes keep advancing. Winner: "Dashing" Cody Rhodes
* Ezekiel Jackson vs. Sheamus: If there's anyone the WWE could have beat Jackson without making him look too weak in this tournament, it's Sheamus. Both men are power-based, so the former WWE champ going over isn't a big blow. Plus, this could be another way to play off Sheamus as weakened by the tournament for the finals. Winner: Sheamus

Finals
* "Dashing" Cody Rhodes vs. Sheamus: I'm of two minds here. I think winning the King of the Ring could work well for Sheamus. I would have him win and, immediately, Triple H's King of Kings music hits, suggesting that he'll finally come back to get revenge, playing off that nickname and being a past King of the Ring. But, no, Sheamus gets on the mic and laughs at us, saying that that is now his music, because he retired Triple H and won the King of the Ring, making him the true King of Kings. But, that seems a little... well, outside of what the WWE would book. So, unless they're going to use this as a way toa dvance Sheamus/Triple H, why bother? Besides, "Dashing" Cody Rhodes as King would be fantastic. Winner and the 2010 King of the Ring: "Dashing" Cody Rhodes

Let's see how wrong I am...

Smarkass Comments: Aborted TNA Instant Analysis (10.28.10)

One of the things I've been doing for 411mania lately is an Instant Analysis (review) of TNA Impact on Thursday nights. Well, halfway through last night's episode, a crisis came up and I wasn't able to finish watching the show (or writing my review). So, instead of letting it go to waste, here's what I had...

SEGMENT ONE: The Knockouts Live Up to Their Name

And Impact began with a backstage brawl... because one of those hasn't happened in a couple of weeks. Surprisingly, this one didn't involve Abyss; it was Mickie James and Tara, but quickly grew to involve Madison Rayne, the Beautiful People, and Sarita. It was a typical brawl, but with more screaming and hair pulling. And, like a typical TNA brawl, it just went on and on and on... Until they finally made it to the ring and Ric Flair came out with security. Then, it became 'everyone slap Ric' while he debated if he should hit Tara or Mickie James back. When he threatened to 'make a woman' out of both of them, I worried we'd finally hit the point where Flair feels the need to prove his manhood with an orgy in the middle of the ring. Thankfully, he just booked a match and ended the ten-minute brawl that stopped being entertaining nine minutes previously. Though, would someone explain to TNA that a match involving these six women after watching them fight for ten minutes isn't exactly exciting? Please? They do that every goddamn time: either have a long brawl lead into a match or have a match lead into a long brawl... What's wrong with just having a good match?

Rating: 3.5 out of 10


SEGMENT TWO: Making Fun of Concussions

Flair and Bischoff acting all buddy buddy is hard to believe... but I did love Flair wondering where Bischoff was for the last half hour... 17 minutes into the show (with commercials). Yes, the brawl may have lasted only ten minutes, but it felt like half an hour. After this, Bischoff and Flair made light of the idea of wrestling with a concussion. I know they're heels, but WHAT THE FUCK? Why not break out some steroid and somas angles while they're at it? Make light of pain killer addiction maybe? Why not have Brian Kendrick or some other young wrestler fake his death from heart failure? There are some subjects you just avoid in the wrestling business and this is one of them.

The Pope was out with a casket and cut a promo on Abyss because of his interference in his TV Title match last week. I do love hearing the Pope deliver a sermon, but that was interrupted by Abyss coming out. Abyss was pretty decent on the mic, too, saying the Pope isn't safe anymore -- and neither is any of his congregation, taking two members of the audience with him. Um, yeah? Decent start, but the finish was a little strange.

Jeff Jarrett was at his arrogant heel best by mocking Samoa Joe and Ken Anderson. Short, sweet, and completely dickish. He came close to hammering on the concussion angle, but was vague enough that it didn't come off as poor as the Flair/Bischoff stuff.

Rating: 5.0 out of 10 for everything except the Flair/Bischoff stuff, which falls somewhere in the negative... what the hell were they thinking?


SEGMENT THREE: Jay Lethal vs. Robbie E. in a Jersey Shore Street Fight
Match Result: Robbie E. pinned Jay Lethal via hairspray
Match Length: Around five minutes

Matt Morgan was out to educate Ric Flair on concussions and Flair's response: "It's the business. It's called professional wrestling." Wow. Veering wildly between after school special and horrible ignorance... THIS IS WHAT I CALL ENTERTAINING WRESTLING TELEVISION!

A Street Fight... something else that hasn't happened on Impact... er, since last week. This sort of match was a smart decision in that it allowed Robbie E. to hide some of his weaker points in the ring. More a brawl than a wrestling match, Lethal kicked things off in charge, while Robbie made a short-lived comeback before Lethal turned the tables with a kendo stick. Lethal's decision to go to the corner Cookie was standing by was an easy to spot opportunity for a clearly beaten Robbie E. to win and earn a title shot at Turning Point. And it was thanks to Cookie using hair spray against Lethal. Lethal beating on Robbie was entertaining, but the ending was forced and kind of awful.

Backstage, Angelina Love was visited again by creepy Winter who replaced the seamstress... but Velvet Sky returns and there's no Winter! Spooky. Katie Lea as Winter is done very well and this story is different. I'm not hating it.

Rating: 4.5 out of 10

Hell's Kitchen 8.03-8.06

Man, fuck the producers. When we last left Hell's Kitchen, there was a preview strongly suggesting that Raj (the fat, mentally unbalanced older chef) was going to stab someone. Shots of paramedics, angry confrontation, ominous music... all that was missing was big overlaid text saying "NEXT EPISODE: RAJ STABS SOMEONE! WATCH!"

Yeah, didn't happen.

Part of me is glad about that. But, only a part. I think that makes me a horrible person.

Only finally saw the four most recent episodes, because of various real life factors involving Michelle and her family that resulted in, Friday night, watching four episodes of the show with a break for supper. In those four episodes, I learned one thing that I actually already knew: when guys fight, it's obvious and doesn't last too long; when women fight, it's obvious and sneaky and lasts for fucking ever. Every goddamn season, the red (aka women's) team nearly implodes because they all decide to hate one another, shifting alliances on a week-by-week basis depending on who decided to fuck whoever else over lately. Sometimes, a guy is thrown in so we can see him pull his hair out, wondering what he did in a previous life to deserve this. In the blue team, people confront one another, but it doesn't drag the whole team down. I don't know... is Hell's Kitchen an unexpected study in gender group dynamics?

The show isn't really about anything else right now. Definitely not cooking.

Smarkass Comments: WWE Smackdown 10.08.10

Before getting into the second episode of Smackdown on SyFy, I want to direct your attention to 411mania where some changes in my writing duties have occurred. Previously, I was co-writing the High Road/Low Road column with Sat, doing the TNA Impact 4Rs, and overseeing the TNA PPV roundtable previews. High Road/Low Road and the TNA PPV roundtable remain the same, but I'm now doing an Instant Analysis of TNA Impact and the WWE Monday Night Raw 4Rs. In addition, I'll also be doing the WWE Superstars 4Rs. So, if you like my writing about wrestling, there's more of it each and every week. If you don't... why are you reading this post at all?

As for this week's Smackdown, I'll handle it in a random thought style as I watch (well, starting around half an hour into the show on the midnight replay on the Score...):

* Edge returns to Smackdown and what else returns? His awesome jacket! Hell yes! His match with Jack Swagger was better than their bout at Hell in a Cell. Edge was really working his ass off to do some different and innovative offence. Good exchange at the end, leading into Edge's win. If they keep improving with each encounter, this feud could make both men look fantastic.

* Missed the Divas match, wanting to catch the end of South Park. I stand by my choice.

* The Big Show stuff with Hornswoggle and the Dudebusters? Awful.

* "Dashing" Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre vs. Kaval & Kofi Kingston was decent. That's a feud I wouldn't mind seeing more of, honestly. The match, though, was too short.

* The Kane/Paul Bearer promo was standard stuff for this feud with the Undertaker. Nothing special, but well done overall. A little over halfway through the show and it's been a two-segment show (and those two segments featured one match...). A pretty weak episode.

* I'm tired and kind of want to go to sleep.

* I have been enjoying the clips of previous Rey Mysterio/Alberto del Rio encounters. Good way to build to their match.

* Line of the night courtesy of Todd Grisham: "MVP's got gold: he's a baller."

* During the commercial, turned it to the Giants/Braves game to watch Ankiel hit a pretty awesome home run. Out of the park and into the water!

* Dolph Ziggler/MVP for the IC belt was a dull affair that was more about the Dolph/Vickie/Kaitlyn story than the match itself. And that's a story I don't care about. I like Kaitlyn well enough, but whatever.

* Soooooooooo tired...

* The Rey Mysterio/Alberto del Rio match was good. Rare to see Mysterio so dominant in a match. del Rio looked more like a rookie, albeit with some decent offence, but that's fine against a two-time world champ like Rey Rey. I'm just happy to see Mysterio not using his typical hit-and-run offence and changing things up when the situation calls for it.

Overall, not a strong episode. The bookending matches were really good, though.

My Favourite Interview: Ken Finkleman (March 2006)

For the last two years of my undergrad, I wrote for the Arts & Entertainment section of the student paper, the University of Western Ontario Gazette. My first year, I was a volunteer/writer, and, my second year, I was an editor. I interviewed a lot of people during those two years; mostly people in indie bands that were playing in town. But, my favourite interview of all time was with Ken Finkleman, the writer/director/star of some CBC TV series, most notably The Newsroom, a sitcom about a newsroom. It was done in the single camera style, the first season back in 1996-97 before returning in 2002 with a TV movie Escape from the Newsroom leading into two more seasons. Between the two version of The Newsroom, he did three mini-series that I have never seen, sadly (and discuss in the interview briefly) and, in 2006, he did a six-part mini-series called At the Hotel (my excuse to talk to him).

The phone interview I had with Finkleman was fantastic. Over an hour of talking -- mostly me listening to him hold court over my 23-year old self. I wasn't usually fannish or flustered, but I was a bit with Finkleman. Before the interview, CBC sent me some preview episodes of At the Hotel, but Finkleman didn't really want to talk about the show. That was cool.

At The Gazette, Q&A interviews were frowned upon even though that's the style I like reading the most. So, I had decided from day one to try and make my interviews as quote-heavy as possible. I'd ask basic questions if only so I could use what the subject said instead of having to say it myself. I would structure the interviews around what was said, not what the article 'should' be about. Going into the Finkleman interview, I had read an 'interview' with him in one of the big Canadian papers and it was roughly the size of my interview, but featured, maybe, three things Finkleman said, filling the article with information that the writer or editor thought was necessary -- the point of the article. Finkleman wasn't even needed! I always tried to avoid that style.

Also, the published article (which has the wrong author credited on the website) needed to be cut down a bit, because I wrote too much. That was rare for me; I was usually very good at hitting the desired length, but I didn't bother this time. I wanted it to be long and contain all of the cool stuff Finkleman said. I'm not entirely happy with the edited version and kept the original for that reason (the only time I've done that). Partly because I like the full version more automatically and, partly, because it was edited as part of training potential editors for the next year, so it's not as clean as it would have been had Anna (my fellow A&E editor at the time) done it.

Still, I look over the article and still see too much of myself, not enough of him. This was also the interview that prompted me to begin reading Haruki Murakami and, for that, I owe Finkleman a debt.

***

Ken Finkleman doesn't like my first question. I ask him about his new series At the Hotel, there's a pause of around ten seconds and he begins to ask me questions about myself. He asks about the paper and school, which leads to poetry and recommending that I read some poems by James Merrill. I can hear him looking for the book in his office because he wants to get the names right.

After a few minutes of this, Finkleman returns to my question and says, "Your first question is terrible. It's the sort of question you think you're supposed to ask and it's one I've been asked hundreds of times. The best question to ask is whatever made you inquisitive. Are you an inquisitive person? If you were sitting beside me on a plane, what would you ask me?"

An interview with Ken Finkleman is part conversation, part lecture. He seems to have so many things he wants to say that he begins one thought and before he can finish it, another one asserts itself. He references various writers and filmmakers, always asking "You know who he is?" As an interviewer, it can be challenging, but as a listener, it's captivating and highly entertaining.

At one point, Finkleman discusses getting older, saying, "As you get older, you appreciate things differently. I don't mean to say that because you're young and don't have as much experience, you can't appreciate things, but as you get older. Like sex. Sex is better. Oh, fuck – infinitely better when you're older.

"Poetry – you appreciate that differently. And, it's not because I have more experience, it's not that. It's like as you get older, your brain changes and you think about things differently."

Finkleman is the director, producer and co-writer of the six-part CBC mini-series At the Hotel and is most well-known for the popular, award-winning comedy series The Newsroom, which he wrote, directed, produced and starred in.

He is generally regarded as one of the most intelligent and creative people working in Canadian television. The third run of The Newsroom won a 2005 International Emmy Award for Best Comedy, a Gemini Award for Best Writing in a Comedy or Variety Program or Series, and two Directors Guild of Canada Awards, for Outstanding Achievement in Direction – Television Series and Outstanding Team Achievement in a Television Series – Comedy.

But, Finkleman doesn't really want to talk about any of that. Any mention of his work is made to strengthen an argument he is making.

Most of the interview is taken up answering the question I would ask him if I was sitting beside him on a plane: why television? Why not films or prose or theatre? What is it about television that appeals to Ken Finkleman so much?

His answer is much simpler than you would expect: "Well, movies are hard to get made – especially in Canada. In Hollywood, it's hard, but you can get caught up in a community and get them made that way. And, at one time, I found myself in a community. Unless you want to do a studio hack job – you want to do something interesting, so you need a name attached."

Finkleman continues, "There are anomalies. But, even then it's because they know each other. Have you seen Capote? That had Phillip Seymour Hoffman, but he was only in it because he knew them. You need a name and the only way to get that is to socialize with the names."

Finkleman explains, "In Canada, you're in the position where you don't have the names to justify a big enough budget. They want a name to put on the marquee, which brings people into the theatre, which makes money. It doesn't have to be the biggest name, but one that will make the investment worth it."

Star power isn't the only drawback, Finkleman adds, "Canadian movies are in and out of theatres in a week. You devote a year – two if you're also writing – to a film and then it's just gone."

Television shows are similar in their temporary status, but in that case, it's by design. "In TV, it comes and goes – and more people watch it. Even if they don't like it, they're more forgiving because it's free," Finkleman laughs.

Even with shows he's done, Finkleman says he's the same way. "There are some episodes I really like and others I don't." But, the serial nature and the fact that there's always a second chance glosses over that quickly.

"It's extremely rewarding," Finkleman explains. "You withstand the failures. And it's fun. Shooting is fun."

This leads Finkleman off on a new tangent: discussing the purpose of fiction. He paraphrases Japanese writer Haruki Murakami, saying, "Good fiction connects – I'm sorry, the story connects in an indefinable way with the story inside reader. It has the quality of déjà vu. Isn't that amazing?"

He explains, "It's the reader and the work. The work is nothing without the reader. And the people that don't get it, resent it and call it pretentious."

The P word is a sore spot with Finkleman as his work is usually praised by critics or panned as pretentious crap. "It's never pretentious. It's always an attempt to express something big and meaningful. It can't be pretentious, it's just what it is. Deep down, I know I'm not pretentious.

"If a critic calls something pretentious, you know he's an asshole."

"It's because I'm a Jew from Winnipeg," Finkleman explains. "It would be okay if I were a German with a cigarette and long hair and a leather jacket and tattoos. But I'm not, so I'm not supposed to attempt to discuss those things."

Three series Finkleman did between runs of The Newsroom, More Tears, Foolish Heart and Foreign Objects, remain favourites of his because there he was able to flex his artistic muscles and explore themes not often explored on TV. But, fans waiting for them to show up on DVD may have a long wait.

Although Finkleman has a core of fans of his work, he doesn't believe that would translate in sales the way The Newsroom DVDs do. "There's no hook. There's nothing that would make people in stores pick them up."

He adds, "We did a study and found that there are 300,000 fans out there, across the country. What does that mean? Because I don't know. Is that good? Is that bad? I don't know. If you put 300,000 people in a stadium and me on stage, that would be pretty impressive, don't you think?"